and she tried to survive, wearing her heart on her sleeve

time for me to vent about life: 

First of all: "If you cared so much about what happened today then next time, think about what you say behind someone's back."  I am getting sick the fake friends. It makes it hard to trust anyone. Now-a-days, there are only one or two people that I can trust with my life. I am very picky on who I tell my secrets to. As for my real friends that I can depend on -- Thank you for giving me a solid ground. And as for a certain someone: I do admit that I have changed, but can you honestly say that you haven't? You can't blame me for drifting apart. "people change, and promises are broken". I have tried being a friend to you but all i really get in return is getting backstabbed and ignored, and frankly, I'm getting annoyed. It seems like you only want me when it's convenient.  I'm done. 

Secondly: Life is getting so stressful, I shouldn't even be blogging, but i need to clear my mind right now. Graduation is less than three months away and i am struggling to keep up with it all. I keep telling myself: "Okay, no more slacking, straighten up, focus." It is all so overwhelming, and i fear for my future and not being able to do what I want to do. Really, I just want time to slow down, or even better rewind so i could fix everything. I am cracking under the pressure, I regret taking the things i have for granted and procrastinating, It's all coming back to me and isn't pretty. 

Last note: Crazy how when all this is going on, I still have space in my head to think about him. I don't know I should really stop but I can't. TO HIM: You're like a plague, infecting my mind and impossible to get rid of. How is it that every song and every cheesy chick flick somehow brings me back to thoughts of you? This isn't right, liking you the way I do + there are many reasons why we shouldn't be together. Ugh, I need to clear my mind. 

:) one more thing: Got my Jonas Brothers tickets. (Now, that's something to look forward too) 

I get to see my boys on: July 2nd, 2009.